Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
