I think my vagina is haunted
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
