I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize