Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
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I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
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Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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