Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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