gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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