I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
