Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
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