For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
