epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.