I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
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Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
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I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you