very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied