someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.