Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(336): View more from North Carolina

If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.

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(336): If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions. http://tfl.nu/lybr

Replies (54) Good night (653) Bad night (1456) Order T-Shirt
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(804): View more from Virginia

So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss

(757): View more from Virginia

So when are we having a sleepover?

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(804): So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss (757): So when are we having a sleepover? http://tfl.nu/90ed

Replies (24) Good night (6230) Bad night (539)
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(308): View more from Nebraska

I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.

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(308): I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose. http://tfl.nu/x4bb

Replies (38) Good night (1065) Bad night (8929) Order T-Shirt
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(303): View more from Colorado

Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.

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(303): Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners. http://tfl.nu/xe1g

Replies (36) Good night (6705) Bad night (919) Order T-Shirt
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(516): View more from New York

I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"

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(516): I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs" http://tfl.nu/07qw

Replies (18) Good night (6405) Bad night (1070) Order T-Shirt
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(513): View more from Ohio

I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.

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(513): I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again. http://tfl.nu/s5qg

Replies (9) Good night (1370) Bad night (3413) Order T-Shirt
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(516): View more from New York

Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating

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(516): Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating http://tfl.nu/ijjp

Replies (12) Good night (2324) Bad night (786) Order T-Shirt
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(419): View more from Ohio

I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.

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(419): I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home. http://tfl.nu/9c0m

Replies (4) Good night (954) Bad night (1950) Order T-Shirt
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(618): View more from Illinois

Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.

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(618): Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum. http://tfl.nu/gdla

Replies (8) Good night (1452) Bad night (420) Order T-Shirt
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.

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(978): Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me. (978): Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex. http://tfl.nu/urbj

Replies (2) Good night (1755) Bad night (481)
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(970): View more from Colorado

Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin

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(970): Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin http://tfl.nu/mrds

Replies (6) Good night (777) Bad night (484) Order T-Shirt
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(678): View more from Georgia

Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?

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(678): Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night? http://tfl.nu/tvyx

Replies (1) Good night (604) Bad night (302)
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(231): View more from Michigan

Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.

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(231): Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly. http://tfl.nu/dx8m

Replies (4) Good night (945) Bad night (191)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

An artistic expression of her stupidity.

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(919): what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding? (1-919): An artistic expression of her stupidity. http://tfl.nu/majp

Replies (1) Good night (416) Bad night (85) Order T-Shirt
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.

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(202): She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood. http://tfl.nu/9x0w

Replies (4) Good night (379) Bad night (203)

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