he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy