Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
