obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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