Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
