She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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