Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
