i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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