Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
