Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
