You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
