I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
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I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
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I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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