I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
