I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
