I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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