So drunk, too bad you don't want this
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
