i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
