U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
Operation Purity has been aborted
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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