I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
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Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
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I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?