It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.