why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
