YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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