I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
