this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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