My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
