i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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