Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Randomize
