fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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