READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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