last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
