He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
