yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
