pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
