Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
