just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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