don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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