Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law