Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead