We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.