Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
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I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
foreskin is a definite game changer
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
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Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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