Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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