girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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