i jhust puked up my retainher.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
