Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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