is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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