I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
