She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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