There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
