1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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