Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I think I won the penis lottery.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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